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All of this has shed a glaring light on my internal struggle.About a year ago, I came across an article entitled "28 Questions for Black Men Who Only Date White Men." Each question from the article was a damning indictment of my apparently not-so-simple dating choices.But when I discussed my issue with friends, other queer men of color, they all said I have a type: white men.

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It can be frustrating, but also deeply enriching, to teach someone about my cultural upbringing.They were estranged from our family, partly because of their health and their sexual orientation.I never had the chance to speak to either one while they were alive, but I often wonder what advice or mentorship they could have provided me as a young Black gay male coming of age in such a sheltered environment.I replied, "Look around — I'm one of three Black guys here." There’s a clear lack of queer spaces in POC communities, and that definitely affects the ability of men of color to meet one another.But while the absence of queer POC-centric establishments is definitely an issue, many of the other Black men I see at gay bars around Manhattan and Brooklyn are booed up with white men, too.

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