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In general, my rule is an invitation to meet should come by the third email you send.

By this point you have talked back and forth twice and can measure how well you are getting along.

After all, contacting someone is just a pre-cursor to the first date.

It’s not as if you hoping to “chat” with someone and end it there.

If you enjoy talking on the phone or prefer to do so before meeting someone, treat this step like you would the first date by asking for the phone number by the third email.

If you really hit it off on the phone (for example, did you talk for two hours without even realizing it? Regardless of the success of the first phone call, I still think the first date should come rapidly so don’t wait too long to move from phone conversations to a real meeting. Hint or specifically state that you can only be out until a certain time.

That sounds amusing but many online daters dwell on internet communication overly long. They wanted me to get the show on the road and they were right to feel that way.

I made this mistake early on and now understand why a few girls, after several emails, would ask direct questions like “Is there anything else you would like me to answer? There are times where you will feel like you are communicating with a “great catch” only to realize what a mistake that was 60 seconds into the first date.

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It is personal preference on how long to wait but there are very few reasons to delay.

You want to talk with them and if things go well meet them.

One common reason to delay a first date is due to an attempt to learn more about the other person. I found the first few minutes of the first date are worth more than dozens of emails.

Your time is valuable and should be used to communicate with people truly interested in meeting you.

I never went for phone conversations as a stepping stone from internet communication to meeting.

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